[Book Plot Summary]
Chapter 1
There’s a local man named Harry who met a rich, strange haole (foreigner) named Steve Yates at a fishing store. Steve invited him over
Harry is dating a woman named Nona and, after the strange encounter with Steve, the two decide to link up for some of Nona’s sickening chicken
Nona’s in a halau led by one Noelani Choi and is slick mediocre at hula and feels out of place
This Jewish white man named Mel Schulman that now goes by Kamakawiwo’ole (but Kam for short) lives in this dirty ass, termite-infested house in Pahoa. His family is over his escapist bullshit
Noelani Choi is a bad bitch dancer and has been perfect ever since Aunty Kapolinahe Kahakunoe took her under her wing
Chapter 2
Nona, who’s a teacher, met Harry when he used to drop his kids off at school. His wife later died and after a real sweet scene in a grocery store, Nona and him fell in love
Back in present day, Harry made some weak ass musubi on their date and Nona open mouth cackled at this nigga
They cutely made ~proper~ rice balls
Kam whitely went to Hilo cuz he ran out of Off and the mosquitoes was lightin his ass up. He stumbled upon a hula performance
Nona, who was in the aforementioned stumbled upon performance, brought the wrong mu’u mu’u to the performance and was goddamn mortified. So, she and Harry left lest she be subject to more shade from bitch ass Betty Manibog
Kam watched the show and befriended a guy in a band named Johnny Boy
Apparently Kam used to play some bass and guitar in Hollywood back in the day
Harry and Nona got to Yates’ house and did a helicopter ride and all types of shit, this mf rich than a mf lmao
Steve’s wife Lisa seems melancholy to Nona, but she can’t quite pinpoint why
They told story and ate malasada and Nona’s thick ass chicken for a long time
Johnny boy introduced Kam to fellow bandmates; Carl Fernandes (drummer), Saul Malani (rhythm guitar), and Randall Dang (lead guitar to be replaced)
Apparently Noelani is overbearingly religious and annoying af
Kam officially moved to Hilo and joined the band where they bonded
Nona visited Noelani, who apparently feels empty inside when she does hula and to whom Aunty Kapo wants to apologize for anything that drove Noelani away
Nona apologizes for missing the performance and gives Noelani a gift of $100,000 from Steve and Lisa
Chapter 3
Harry and Steve develop a friendship where they go out fishing together. Harry kinda shows him the ropes where you attach squid and cut the lines and things like that
They have some interesting conversations where Harry says Steve needs to leave the land be and not feel like he owns everything. Steve isn’t accustomed to being the one who doesn’t know something or not being the one in charge
There’s this hilarious plate lunch rivalry between these two restaurants; Goto’s and Matsuoka. Charlotte, and now, Eva Matsuoka, will stop at nothing to fuck everyone’s shit up and steal recipes. They’ll interrupt relationships, join hula groups, girl it’s wild lmao
Eva joins the Noelani’s halau to steal Nona’s chicken recipe which turns out to be a bust
Noelani decides to make a hula dance based on the birth and death of Jesus Christ which yikes
Kam is attracted to Noelani which annoys Johnny Boy, but whatever. Kam tried to run up but, in the end, nothing transpired
The band, Ku’uipo, performs at a local bar named Kalani’s where hoes hate them at first, but after singing some of Israel’s bops, they’re beloved
Noelani reveals her weird hula plan and the girls are having 0% of it. Nona thinks it’s lowkey fucked up to use the money to boast Christianity like that and weirdly confides in Eva about that for whatever reason
The Hamakua rainforest local zoo that didn’t have no animals has been getting these random donations as have the tsunami museum, the performing arts center, and even Fumi Camacho for her college research
Goto’s got a new fridge and Eva was PISSED
Ku’uipo ordered “crazy omelettes” at the Hilo Bowl, which weirdly had a backstory
Kam recognizes Steve who’s there with hoes (Harry, Nona, Lisa and like all of the halau including Frances Silva who is old and hilarious)
Harry and Steve go fishing and Steve’s dumbass does too much and gets them swept into the damn water. Harry saves that ass and it’s revealed he’s missing a leg
Harry’s depressed, but Nona drops him off anyway
Afterward, Nona has a lowkeyyyy suicide attempt
Noelani invites Ku’uipo over to discuss the hula performance, finds out Kam’s Jewish, kicks him out, and is surprised when everyone’s like wtf. Then, Johnny Boy comforts her as she’s clearly the one who suffered the most in that interaction
Chapter 4
Nona was blown at Harry’s bullshit and decided to confide in Lisa who thirstily accepted the gesture to hang out, and the two drank guava juice and sort of glossed over Nona’s very serious suicide attempt
They almost went shopping, but decided to go to Kilauea which is kinda like this volcanic black beachy area. They see a new island in the distance and the driver they were with was like “umm we’re definitely being watched” but no one cared
Meanwhile, at the bowling alley, Kam was like “Noelani got me FUCKED up” and Saul was like “girl you right, if you out then girl, I’m out too” *lazily sips soda*
Noelani felt sad about being perfect cuz she feels like everyone should be able to do hula/do it like her if they just try hard enough which is, of course, not true. Slick she’s Christian cuz it’s like the one time in her life she’s ever felt rejected or challenged
Steve recovered and cleaned Harry’s leg and Harry was elated
Kam decides to meet Noelani at Kapiolani Park and, while waiting, meets a little boy and teaches him some standard chords on the guitar. They sing the “Hi’ilawe”
Noelani witnesses this, attempts to lore Kam into selfishly talking about himself which is a dud and they sit down next to one another presumably for this fake ass apology
Chapter 5
Lisa is VERY sick, perhaps with cancer or something—Harry’s wife died of cancer which is an unfortunate coincidence
Lisa was visited by an old aunty who used to own their spot who gave her ohelo jam, but Steve neither heard the woman nor thought the jam was as lit as Lisa said it was
Nona and Harry went to the beach to get good again. Harry was surprised how his closeness with Nona made him fight for his life
Noelani got the girls together to discuss roles for this stupid ass performance. Ignacio was dissed by Frances Silva saying he can’t be Jesus cuz he’s gay, yet they somehow landed on Ervin Shimabukuro despite Jesus not being Okinawan
Kam and Noelani have a musical heart-to-heart to the dismay of Johnny-Boy
Kam had a strange (and slightly homoerotic dream) where he’s fishing and then is visited by Steve who tells him that rather than searching for a particular fish, maybe going fishing is a reason enough to go. Clearly some symbolism for his trip to Hawaii
Chapter 6
Eva’s still a hatin ass bitch that wants Nona’s chicken
The girls treat Steve like a local which Harry found weird
Kalani got a new PA system for the band thanks to Steve and lowkey Ku’uipo has been blowing upppp since Kam joined, so much so that they got noticed by an NPR radio rep named Lois Cabral who asked that they start making CDs
Lisa’s starting to get better which Steve doesn’t necessarily like since he thought she was dying
Eva’s hatin ass found out Steve Yates been fillin the girls’ pocket books
Noelani was struggling boots to find the right Jesus and do the things, but she and Kam threw everything out and just decided to do a story of the Old Testament and just focus on the dance
Chapter 7
Kam and Noelani showed the halau their dance and they fucking hated it—except for Nona and Frances. Ignacio didn’t like that it mixed kahiko and auana, Betty wondered if the moves were correct, and some didn’t even feel like it was hula
Nona and Harry’s relationship still rocky
Noelani was annoyed af after everything and felt like hula had just become repetition, the same steps, the same story, and that felt folks were too short-sighted. It was all about the judges and the awards. If Hawaii evolves, then hula should too
Harry confides in Lisa that if he ever married Nona, he would fear his late wife would never forgive him
Ku’uipo did an interview and performance on the radio and the girls LIVEDT
Steve is black lmao . Yaaaaasssss
Samson got caught short changing the crazy omelettes and decided he was over the bullshit lol
Noelani dreamt about bananas and patience
Steve’s good deeds are leading to some unrest especially with the zoo
Kam feels empty, what else is new?
Jonny Boy is in his feelings about Noelani even tho she and Kam ain’t together lol
Chapter 8
Uncle Raymond is so obsessed with crazy omelettes cuz they remind him of Big Macs and how signature they are
Noelani leaves the hulau; Nona, Frances, Violet, Eva, and Ervin all follow. Ignacio is the new leader of the original group
The old lady returned and left more jam
Nona’s meathead nephew Darin finna visit, chiiiiiile
Nona has an epiphany and wants to stand out with dance
Eva made this whole cockamamie ass scheme to get Nona’s chicken involving a fake sickness, a catering party, and other mess, but all to no avail
Steve and Harry pull weeds and Arnold Goto reveals that Harry has been gooping Steve’s ass by not finding any fish
Noelani teaches her new squad how to move without music and then gives them each $20,000 lmao
[Book Thoughts and Feelings]
Is Steve God lmao? He always visiting bitches in dreams and shit
I love how Eva’s lowkey giving you Team Rocket tease lmao